Emotional Intelligence

Imam Dr. Omar Suleiman is a scholar, speaker, activist and writer based in the United States and is the founder and president of the think-tank, Yaqeen Institute for Islamic Research.
Among the most profound aspects of Islam, was its aim to bring out the best in people’s character. Just like the prophets who came before him, Prophet Muhammadﷺ was sent to reshape people’s lives and behavior in line with the belief in one Creator. Loving God (Allāh) meant being loving, attentive and compassionate to the people around you, from your own family to the wider family of the community.
Care for the congregation
As a true servant of his community, the Prophetﷺ was fully aware of every individual’s situation and needs. He had an extraordinary ability to understand and accommodate others, even when it came to the congregational daily prayer. And while there was no one who spent more time and devotion in prayer than the Prophetﷺ, when he was leading the community of worshipers in the mosque, he was deeply conscious of all the people behind him. His congregation encompassed the elderly, women, young children, those who were new to Islam and people with disabilities, all of whom he took into thoughtful consideration.
As a true servant of his community, the Prophetﷺ was fully aware of every individual’s situation and needs.
The Prophetﷺ once heard a child crying during the prayer, so he hastened it, wanting to alleviate the distress of both the mother and her child. In this gracious act, the Prophet conveyed a strong message: do not let the love of God lead you to the neglect of everyone else. Instead, your love of God should lead you to channel the mercy you seek from Him through your mercy to people.
Expressing love
It was through subtlety and intelligence, that Prophet Muhammadﷺ read and responded to each person and each situation.
It was the norm in seventh century pagan Arab society not to express one’s emotions or affection openly, even towards the closest members of the family. Telling someone you loved them, or even showing affection was looked down upon, and this led to a broad lack of understanding and absence of sensitivity to other people’s needs. But it was an attitude that Prophet Muhammadﷺ was to radically change in the most beautiful manner.
One of the ways he did this was in the affection he showed for his grandchildren. In the mosque, when the toddlers used to wander around and stumble over, he would descend from the pulpit in the middle of his sermon, pick them up, place them on his lap and continue to give his speech. Through this act of care, he showed his congregation that children are a vital part of the community and that they should be treated with love and gentleness.
Prophet Muhammadﷺ was also incredibly perceptive, and adjusted the way he communicated with people to help them understand whatever lesson he was imparting. Once, when the Prophetﷺ kissed his grandsons publicly, a man commented, “I have ten children and I’ve never kissed any of them.” The Prophetﷺ replied not with a rebuke, but in a way that would appeal to the man’s sensibilities. He told him that mercy in one’s heart is God-given. And when you neglect something that God has put inside of you, then you are neglecting a blessing of God. The Prophetﷺ thus planted a seed of change, encouraging the man to see the benefit of affection from a different lens.
It was through subtlety and intelligence, that Prophet Muhammadﷺ read and responded to each person and each situation, bringing out the best in people’s character and setting new norms in society.
Empathy and sensitivity
Prophet Muhammadﷺ always sought to bring relief to people and to connect with people at a level that most would overlook.
In the Quran (Qurʾān), God describes Prophet Muhammadﷺ as a “mercy to the worlds” and the beauty of this mercy and compassion translated into his everyday behavior with everyone around him.
He once appointed one of his pious Companions to lead the night prayer, yet after a few days, someone came to the Prophetﷺ complaining that this imam recited such lengthy passages from the Quran that it was difficult for him to stand for so long in prayer.
The Prophetﷺ, sensitive to the needs of the complainer and having the perceptiveness that others too may feel the same, gently told the imam, “Do not be among those that cause others to flee from the religion.” The Prophetﷺ was ever cognizant of the fact that people were at various spiritual and physical levels, and warned the imam not to be a barrier to their religious journey.
With a profound understanding of faith coupled with a deep understanding of his community, Prophet Muhammadﷺ always sought to bring relief to people and to connect with people at a level that most would overlook. Through the smallest of gestures, he could completely transform the energy of the situation, such as encouraging people to smile at each other, saying, “A smile in the face of your brother is a charity.” This was encouraged even if someone were to pass a cup of water to a needy person. In a simple yet insightful move, the Prophetﷺ removed the sense of feeling like a burden from the needy person, and created a more equitable scenario.
Having lived the life he did, the Prophetﷺ knew what it felt like to be an orphan, to be poor and vulnerable, to be treated with contempt and overlooked. It was from these experiences that a profound sense of empathy arose to foster not only a better situation for the person in question, but more broadly to forge a culture of consideration and care.
One telling description of the Prophetﷺ was that he was even better inside his home than outside it, meaning he did not separate his behavior with his family from his behavior with the community. Indeed, in private, away from the eyes of society, his manners were even more impeccable.
Prophet Muhammadﷺ imbued every role he held, whether as a leader, grandfather or friend, with empathy, love and understanding.